last day of 2009...
Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Within Me
Sipping coffee with the sound of pouring rain tapping on my bedroom window, so much for the last post of the year like I said before eh?!
I find Christmas to be so exciting, if you look beyond the craziness of the malls and people rushing to get last minute gift, it is beautiful. The lights, the music, people seem to glow a bit; there’s good food, presents, hugs, family and all the good time. There’s also a bit of nostalgia for me. I feel kind of bummed for some strange reason, emotional I guess.
I remember when everyone used to live at one place, just this sentence got me choked, my grandparents, parents, sister, cousins, uncles and aunts, everyone at one place, together. It was loud, there was running and laughter and I miss it. My grandpa dressed as Santa and since we never had a chimney he would jump over the gate, chuckle, good times, I can still smell it.
Christmas is still good, there’s still family but it’s always different, didn’t help my mom set up the tree this year, the whole family is not together anymore, at least not entirely, and I know I brought that upon me, far to be complaining, but I guess the little annoying pain in my chest that came with December will set camp for the holidays, and as much as I try I can't get rid of it. I’m homesick, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, or isn’t it?
How littlest of me to think like that, then some thoughts hit me big time, I am where I wanted to be but the pieces I spread around call me home at this time. Yesterday morning I woke up with the strangest feeling of missing out, and here I am living my choices I made, it’s my responsibility, just mine. It might sound a bit morbid but I, then was with someone that was feeling the hit much more than me, the person she misses will never spend another Christmas with her, and that was just like cold water, right there to lift my spirit and even make me feel bad for feeling the way I feel.
It will be sunny tomorrow, and I hope the real meaning of this beautiful day can wash away all this I’ve been feeling.
Merry Christmas! Be close to who you love.
I find Christmas to be so exciting, if you look beyond the craziness of the malls and people rushing to get last minute gift, it is beautiful. The lights, the music, people seem to glow a bit; there’s good food, presents, hugs, family and all the good time. There’s also a bit of nostalgia for me. I feel kind of bummed for some strange reason, emotional I guess.
I remember when everyone used to live at one place, just this sentence got me choked, my grandparents, parents, sister, cousins, uncles and aunts, everyone at one place, together. It was loud, there was running and laughter and I miss it. My grandpa dressed as Santa and since we never had a chimney he would jump over the gate, chuckle, good times, I can still smell it.
Christmas is still good, there’s still family but it’s always different, didn’t help my mom set up the tree this year, the whole family is not together anymore, at least not entirely, and I know I brought that upon me, far to be complaining, but I guess the little annoying pain in my chest that came with December will set camp for the holidays, and as much as I try I can't get rid of it. I’m homesick, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, or isn’t it?
How littlest of me to think like that, then some thoughts hit me big time, I am where I wanted to be but the pieces I spread around call me home at this time. Yesterday morning I woke up with the strangest feeling of missing out, and here I am living my choices I made, it’s my responsibility, just mine. It might sound a bit morbid but I, then was with someone that was feeling the hit much more than me, the person she misses will never spend another Christmas with her, and that was just like cold water, right there to lift my spirit and even make me feel bad for feeling the way I feel.
It will be sunny tomorrow, and I hope the real meaning of this beautiful day can wash away all this I’ve been feeling.
Merry Christmas! Be close to who you love.
World of
Julie
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Hear! Hear!
One more year is coming to an end, and it has been one of the most eventful years of my life, things got into a speed ever since the seconds turned into a brand new year, I still remember the countdown and everyone around me, I remember wishing for Canada with all my heart, it came to life.
Then I took off, saw my little girl, met amazing people, re-met some others, got close and apart, made some choices and let them go, started school again, had visitors from all over the place, had one of the best summers, seen Vancouver in all the seasons over and over, had high happy days and also meltdowns, found out who I can really count on, said goodbye for real, had scary moments, faced my choices like never before.
Worth it. It’s good to be back, good to be home where I wanted to be since the beginning, be careful what you wish for (so they say) I am happy in my own skin and it’s good to know where I step when my feet are on the ground. So here’s for my last post of this year, may 2010 bring whatever it has to bring. I’m ready and kicking, hear hear!
Then I took off, saw my little girl, met amazing people, re-met some others, got close and apart, made some choices and let them go, started school again, had visitors from all over the place, had one of the best summers, seen Vancouver in all the seasons over and over, had high happy days and also meltdowns, found out who I can really count on, said goodbye for real, had scary moments, faced my choices like never before.
Worth it. It’s good to be back, good to be home where I wanted to be since the beginning, be careful what you wish for (so they say) I am happy in my own skin and it’s good to know where I step when my feet are on the ground. So here’s for my last post of this year, may 2010 bring whatever it has to bring. I’m ready and kicking, hear hear!
World of
Julie
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Cleanse and Rinse
Like most things in life, sometimes it’s time to cleanse. Shake off the dust, get some fresh air. Thinking about it, come out for air is the best term here. Get rid of the clothes you no longer wear or those that remind you of bad days, get rid of some numbers on your facebook that are there just because, of a bad hair color, bad habits and thoughts. Just feel light and clean not only inside your closet.
After a while you start to get used to some things and people in life, and we need to be careful not to settle for the not-so-great situations because when you finally break free and come out to breathe you realize that a way-out is all you needed. This all came up to me while I was packing and realized how much stuff one can accumulate, things never wore, things you keep just in case or because there’s some feeling related to it.
As much as you want to throw them out or pass it along, some things you just can’t get rid of and you know I started to think that’s just as it is in life. Honestly there are some moments you can’t let go even when you should and some people that are no longer in your life but still, somehow come up in your mind once in a while.
Even tough it sounds cliché, my resolution this year will be to let go of anything or anyone that is holding me back somehow, in any aspect or area of my life. More than I already do so. I am no longer keeping any clutter.
"No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but...
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I want to get off
and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in... "
After a while you start to get used to some things and people in life, and we need to be careful not to settle for the not-so-great situations because when you finally break free and come out to breathe you realize that a way-out is all you needed. This all came up to me while I was packing and realized how much stuff one can accumulate, things never wore, things you keep just in case or because there’s some feeling related to it.
As much as you want to throw them out or pass it along, some things you just can’t get rid of and you know I started to think that’s just as it is in life. Honestly there are some moments you can’t let go even when you should and some people that are no longer in your life but still, somehow come up in your mind once in a while.
Even tough it sounds cliché, my resolution this year will be to let go of anything or anyone that is holding me back somehow, in any aspect or area of my life. More than I already do so. I am no longer keeping any clutter.
"No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but...
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I want to get off
and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in... "
World of
Julie
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