Heck yeah it’s been a while. Life’s been busy, with little people and long days, when all I want to do is to get home, kick my jeans and dive into bed. So that’s what I’ve been pretty much up to. Of course, once in a while, when everything is way too smooth… you can tell by the calm sea and reckless birds that the storm is coming.
And I tell ya, you never know where it’s going to hit you first. Mine usually hits me from behind, when I least expect it to, taking it all with the waves and leaving me with a mess to clean up, that I, myself, created in the first place.
It comes back to bite you in the ass, right or wrong, it’s a cycle. I should be used to this by now, but every time it hits me it’s a whole different wind that brings back memories and past to the surface. Maybe I should just not trust, period? I do, confess, I have massive trust issues, almost everyone, except my family, that I trusted with something in my life, threw it to my face at some point, and worst, hurting people that have nothing to do with the whole story whatsoever. Let’s hurt each other with damn useless subjects, just for the sake of it.
I am not taking any action this time, I used to, get all worked out, send a stormy e-mail back… creating more mess, hurt, and effin’gossip (the one I despite the most) just let it be, take the time, and close that door shut one more time.
The worst part of it, I tell you, is that I am still naïve enough to care, to be upset over something that has no turning back, and that is because I cannot, simply, dispose people, I can’t just pretend we didn’t have a story and that at a place in time we were friends. Maybe my trusting issue is to trust too much. In any case, from now on and whatever other time that something will, with no doubt, boil up again, I won't take it by heart anymore. I have learned how to outgrow it and not care for careless. I believe that if it's coming back it's because there's still the thought of me that the other side can't let go. So be it. Too bad.
Walk on.
And I tell ya, you never know where it’s going to hit you first. Mine usually hits me from behind, when I least expect it to, taking it all with the waves and leaving me with a mess to clean up, that I, myself, created in the first place.
It comes back to bite you in the ass, right or wrong, it’s a cycle. I should be used to this by now, but every time it hits me it’s a whole different wind that brings back memories and past to the surface. Maybe I should just not trust, period? I do, confess, I have massive trust issues, almost everyone, except my family, that I trusted with something in my life, threw it to my face at some point, and worst, hurting people that have nothing to do with the whole story whatsoever. Let’s hurt each other with damn useless subjects, just for the sake of it.
I am not taking any action this time, I used to, get all worked out, send a stormy e-mail back… creating more mess, hurt, and effin’gossip (the one I despite the most) just let it be, take the time, and close that door shut one more time.
The worst part of it, I tell you, is that I am still naïve enough to care, to be upset over something that has no turning back, and that is because I cannot, simply, dispose people, I can’t just pretend we didn’t have a story and that at a place in time we were friends. Maybe my trusting issue is to trust too much. In any case, from now on and whatever other time that something will, with no doubt, boil up again, I won't take it by heart anymore. I have learned how to outgrow it and not care for careless. I believe that if it's coming back it's because there's still the thought of me that the other side can't let go. So be it. Too bad.
Walk on.
