Sipping coffee with the sound of pouring rain tapping on my bedroom window, so much for the last post of the year like I said before eh?!
I find Christmas to be so exciting, if you look beyond the craziness of the malls and people rushing to get last minute gift, it is beautiful. The lights, the music, people seem to glow a bit; there’s good food, presents, hugs, family and all the good time. There’s also a bit of nostalgia for me. I feel kind of bummed for some strange reason, emotional I guess.
I remember when everyone used to live at one place, just this sentence got me choked, my grandparents, parents, sister, cousins, uncles and aunts, everyone at one place, together. It was loud, there was running and laughter and I miss it. My grandpa dressed as Santa and since we never had a chimney he would jump over the gate, chuckle, good times, I can still smell it.
Christmas is still good, there’s still family but it’s always different, didn’t help my mom set up the tree this year, the whole family is not together anymore, at least not entirely, and I know I brought that upon me, far to be complaining, but I guess the little annoying pain in my chest that came with December will set camp for the holidays, and as much as I try I can't get rid of it. I’m homesick, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, or isn’t it?
How littlest of me to think like that, then some thoughts hit me big time, I am where I wanted to be but the pieces I spread around call me home at this time. Yesterday morning I woke up with the strangest feeling of missing out, and here I am living my choices I made, it’s my responsibility, just mine. It might sound a bit morbid but I, then was with someone that was feeling the hit much more than me, the person she misses will never spend another Christmas with her, and that was just like cold water, right there to lift my spirit and even make me feel bad for feeling the way I feel.
It will be sunny tomorrow, and I hope the real meaning of this beautiful day can wash away all this I’ve been feeling.
Merry Christmas! Be close to who you love.
I find Christmas to be so exciting, if you look beyond the craziness of the malls and people rushing to get last minute gift, it is beautiful. The lights, the music, people seem to glow a bit; there’s good food, presents, hugs, family and all the good time. There’s also a bit of nostalgia for me. I feel kind of bummed for some strange reason, emotional I guess.
I remember when everyone used to live at one place, just this sentence got me choked, my grandparents, parents, sister, cousins, uncles and aunts, everyone at one place, together. It was loud, there was running and laughter and I miss it. My grandpa dressed as Santa and since we never had a chimney he would jump over the gate, chuckle, good times, I can still smell it.
Christmas is still good, there’s still family but it’s always different, didn’t help my mom set up the tree this year, the whole family is not together anymore, at least not entirely, and I know I brought that upon me, far to be complaining, but I guess the little annoying pain in my chest that came with December will set camp for the holidays, and as much as I try I can't get rid of it. I’m homesick, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, or isn’t it?
How littlest of me to think like that, then some thoughts hit me big time, I am where I wanted to be but the pieces I spread around call me home at this time. Yesterday morning I woke up with the strangest feeling of missing out, and here I am living my choices I made, it’s my responsibility, just mine. It might sound a bit morbid but I, then was with someone that was feeling the hit much more than me, the person she misses will never spend another Christmas with her, and that was just like cold water, right there to lift my spirit and even make me feel bad for feeling the way I feel.
It will be sunny tomorrow, and I hope the real meaning of this beautiful day can wash away all this I’ve been feeling.
Merry Christmas! Be close to who you love.
